yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize