are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
