is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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