I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize