Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
