Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
