I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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