If i come over, it means nothing
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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