chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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