We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
We're not piercing ourselves today.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
