I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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