That's intense
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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