Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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