Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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