those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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