a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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