He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
