Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize