you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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