All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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