I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
