What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
