So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Who died my cat blue again?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
