Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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