I feel great
I just peed on a car
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
