it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize