is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
