just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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