she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Oh god it's open bar.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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