so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
