BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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