Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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