Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
