Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Randomize
