Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
