Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
