You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Randomize
