just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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