im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
