hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
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