hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
