at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
