He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
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I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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