That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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