IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
