Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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