I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
