her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
