im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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