I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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