well I can't set my house on fire every night
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
