Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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