It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize