summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
