I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
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