I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
