My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize