Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
how does that bad decision feel?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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