One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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