he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
