Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
