I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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