where am i from again
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I didn't notice because vodka
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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