If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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