you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize